I haven’t written in a week and it seems like an eternity.
I don’t like that.
However, I will say it’s seriously awesome when a friend asks me, “Hey, so uhh, what’s the next blog post going to be?”
I’m still not used to it.
But here we are, my next blog post, and an idea I’ve essentially always had to deal with: Dating as a Christian.
But do not dismay, because if you know me, I’m hardly a pessimist. I’m about to attempt to drop some hope, encouragement and maybe wisdom. (That might be a stretch.)
So here I’ll put a few ideas out there about what I find difficult in dating as a Christian and then destroy it with God’s truth & promises.
Are you ready?
The biggest issue is the whole argument of “Why wait?”
I’m talking about sex here and honestly any sexual immorality. It’s so much easier essentially, to just go with today’s view of relationships where the question is more often, “After which date do we sleep together?” opposed to “Can I see myself marrying this person?”
As a Christian it should always be the latter. Those first few dates should be about getting to know that other person. Compatibility should be based on whether or not this person is someone you enjoy being around, adds to the constantly changing & growing thing I like to call your life and shares the values & morals you possess.
Waiting is tough. I know, because I didn’t, but I can tell you as someone looking at this from the other side, you know, that place you can’t go until you’re there, I wish I had waited.
The foundation of a relationship is so much stronger when you allow commitment to lead to intimacy. There’s nothing to be worried about when that’s the approach we take.
Sometimes though, as Christians we do a pretty decent job, thanks to God’s grace, at putting together a fairly solid relationship. At that point, watch out. The enemy would much rather wreck something viewed as successful than something that never really seemed to get off the ground.
And even after you may say,”There’s too much required of this”
It can seem that way. Dating as a Christian can seem like there’s so many more rules to follow than dating outside of a Christian’s world view. Of course the most common has already been discussed , but on a broader level Christians hear all the time, “guard their heart.”
This is absolutely crucial to dating as a Christian because I’m going to be honest with you, just because you’re both Christian and things are going well doesn’t mean that person is going to be the one. When that comes to pass, you have held the responsibility during that entire relationship of leaving the least amount of scars possible on that person so they can be in the best shape for their future spouse and likewise for you.
That’s a lot to take in. This isn’t a game. I like to write about selfishness a lot because I feel it’s so crucial not just in relationships, but life in general. When selfishness isn’t curbed it births these scars. We all fall, I get that, but where we are called as Christians is to seek God’s grace and walk in the righteousness He offers in salvation.
Something as simple as committing to not cuddling, while may seem legalistic, can show that you care more about healthier ways of expressing affection and that you respect your partner by not opening doors towards crossing boundaries much bigger.
And that’s why this can be difficult. There’s more to deal with than is realized and it can become frustrating even at times, but we are called to be more. To be set apart. Patience & selflessness can help you get there with a daily helping of God’s grace.
Thank you for reading and I hope you all have a blessed day.